Burl’s Story

When I was 17, I attempted suicide. It was a half-hearted attempt, but at the time, I felt hopeless. My parents had just gotten divorced, and I had recently broken up with my girlfriend. My family’s life had been turned upside down, and I had turned to drinking and partying as a way to cope.

In 1993, my paternal grandfather also committed suicide. He had just found out that he had terminal cancer and could not bear the thought of suffering through the pain and loss of dignity that he knew was to come.

In 2011, my youngest cousin called me out of the blue. He didn’t usually like talking on the phone, so it was odd. I was busy with family stuff, so I asked if I could call him back later. The next day, my aunt called to say that they couldn’t find him. He had made similar calls to other family members, and we began to worry that he might have committed suicide. We organized a search, but several days later, someone found him in his truck, dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

A few years later, I wrote in my diary that I had contemplated suicide many times in my life. I felt that there was something fundamentally wrong with me, and I had caused pain to those around me through my actions. Although I knew that committing suicide would cause pain to those who loved me, I also felt that my being alive was causing them pain. I struggled with the question of whether I had the courage to go through with it.

In 2021, my best friend and first cousin’s brother shot himself in his work truck in New Mexico. He lived for another five days on life support, and I was there when he took his last breath. It was a devastating loss. Two months later, a co-worker I had been training for the last six months killed himself while at home.

@flyingwranch

I’m not done. #suicideprevention #askforhelp #done #bekind #flyingw #ranchlife #dobetter #oklahomacheck #workthatmatters #culturematters ♬ Good Love – Shy Carter

That’s why my family and I started the not-for-profit organization, Even One Less. After experiencing the devastating impact of suicide in our lives, we decided to take action and prevent others from going through similar pain. We are committed to providing hope and help to those suffering, reducing the number of suicides in our community and beyond, and we hope that our efforts can make a real difference by saving even one life.