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Have you ever noticed that the quality of our thoughts creates the quality of our life? Before we ever experience a feeling, chances are we've had a thought that produced it. Awareness of our thinking styles and how they impact our mental health is helpful for correcting patterns that prevent us from living in joy.
I'm going to dive into reasoning that has reduced my quality of life and reasoning that has improved my quality of life.
We can categorize our thoughts into two categories, deductive or inductive. Deductive thinking reduces the value and emphasizes negative outcomes. For example, if I fell short of an expectation on a task then I assume I will fall short on all of my other tasks. Self defeating language takes charge in deductive thinking. On the other hand, inductive thinking expands our minds into other possible outcomes. For example, I fell short of an expectation on a task, but I can still accomplish other tasks. Pro-activity and positively take charge in inductive thinking.
When I am struggling with depression, I notice a strong connection to the low quality thoughts my mind is producing.
In becoming more aware of the patterns of deductive thinking, I have the opportunity to hijack thoughts and over ride them with reason. Each experience of deductive reasoning can become an opportunity to learn from and do better moving forward. Here are some common experiences of deductive thoughts:
BLACK & WHITE THINKING
All or Nothing here! When I'm stuck in between two extreme opposites and feel the reflection in my emotions, I know the best choice is to pick a third option. What's the option in between all or nothing? Even if it's just imagining a possibility, the practice of getting out of the 'perfect or a complete failure' zone can shift my emotions back into regulation. There's a lot of grey area in life and accepting the unseen and unknown is sometimes very hard, but rewarding for my mental health journey.
MIND READING & PREDICTING
Many times I have jumped to assumptions that I know what a person's intent or thought processes are. Often I am going to jump to a negative conclusion when i am getting into assumptions. I recognized there was a sort of conditioning on my mind that with enough repeated bad experiences, surely the next one is bound to produce the same result, and all people must think alike. To help with this unhelpful thinking style of mind reading and predicting, I put my experience into a court of internal law. For example, I examine the facts and evidence. Are there any facts that point to my predictions? What am I projecting, assuming or guessing? What are the possibilities of the other person's experience with life that may contribute to their actions? What's the harm in asking questions to gain understanding before making a prediction?
COMPARE & DESPAIR
There are times when I've fallen into the despair of comparing my body to another's in disapproval, or thinking another person has a more fair existence than myself. These styles of comparison have led to an internal suffering of not being able to truly accept the uniqueness of myself or the other person. In accepting my individual creation and another's, I can learn and grow in my own identity, compare less and celebrate more.
CRITICAL SELF
Underlying the decline of self esteem is the hyper critic. There were many times I took on the responsibility of the bad guy to please another and blamed myself for all the problems in circumstances. Being unforgiving towards myself and begging for the forgiveness of others to permit my peaceful existence drastically reduced my quality of life. I still catch myself being hyper critical, and remembering I am learning lessons all the time. Refraining from taking all the blame allows others to learn lessons also. We all grow in radical acceptance and forgiveness.
SHOULDS AND MUSTS
The language of shoulds and musts invites into our lives demands and expectations that may not be realistic. Guilt and anger arise when I place a standard on myself I do not meet, or when another does not meet a standard I place on them. Its' easy for me to see how all these patterns of deductive thinking play together. The guilt of the shoulds fuels the critic that predicts hell and its hell or perfection. Interesting! I should probably stop shoulding on myself. And so should you! Flexibility and humor go a long way for counter acting the rigidness of the musts.
MEMORIES
High on my stinker thinker meter are less than nourishing relationship memories that filter my current experiences in relationships. It's easy to get swept up into a tornado of revisiting visuals and emotions and I can also fail to see the bigger picture and truths around me. My memory is excellent at blocking out certain information and magnifying other information depending on my priorities and self preservation needs. This can work to my advantage or cause problems depending on how I practice navigating my memories. I sometimes use the 'etch a sketch' coping skill, though I'm sure i look a little off when I shake my head and say "Etch a Sketch!"
CATASTROPHIC & MOUNTAINS OUT OF MOLEHILLS
Magnifying a little event and attaching a worse case scenario then loading it up with dynamite used to be the normal way I thought. I can't imagine why someone put me on anti anxiety medicine? A practice that is more effective than a prescription for me, is looking at the facts and exploring the possibilities for reasons someone is behaving a way or a circumstance goes a way that doesn't align with my needs.
EMOTIONAL REASONING
I've made a new rule to live by: refrain from making a decision when feeling emotional. Many of us fall into believing that if we feel a certain way, then it must be a certain way, and that isn't always the truth. It helps me to allow exposure to opposing thoughts and notice if I dismiss another's feelings because I don't feel the same way. At my best I am connecting my feelings to my values, and looking for ways to meet those values physically, mentally and spiritually.
MINIMIZATION
My closest peoples catch and point out when i minimize my self worth and value. I've noticed it more lately than I'd like to admit. Although reducing myself to nothing and no one helped in battling matters of pride and ego, staying in the complete opposite can gradually lead to a loss in self esteem. Minimizing my worth has also allowed abuse and behaviors that don't align with my values all the time. There's a healthy middle ground of staying in humility but also staying grateful and connected to the positive experiences of the day.
With some awareness , acceptance and a willingness to try something different, I can work every day to improve my thinking styles and mental well being.
Reflect upon a time when you were thinking in a self-reducing way - how did this affect you? What have you learned from that experience?
How can inductive thinking help you re-frame the quality of the meaning you assign to your thoughts?
I'd love to hear your thoughts, comment below!
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